Nurse Amanda Hugankiss

10...er, I mean....11 Reasons To Love ME!

2009-04-27T01:50:00.002+02:00

11. And I have a NICE hat!

Wordless Chicken Tuesday Redux

2009-03-31T07:20:00.003+02:00

'Cuz ~~I'm too dang busy to come up with a new post!~~....I mean....

this is TOTALLY worth a second look!

Bra'wk!

TODAY is the BEST DAY of the YEAR!

2009-03-21T03:09:00.005+01:00

It's National Corndog Day!

National Corndog Day coincides with the Saturday of the final 32 teams in NCAA basketball tournament (this year it’s March 21st). If over the course of National Corndog Day, at an official NCD party, you can consume 10 corndogs, 10 beers, and 10 "units" of tater tots (100 tots total) you have achieved the notorious "triple-double."

It is a feat that has been seldom accomplished.

Unfortunately, since Spring has sprung, I am booked up to my eyeballs at the Beaver Taming Salon, so I won't be attending any parties...but you can bet yer mustard I will be chowin' down on corndogs ALL DAY (and prolly night too) in the breakroom because....

I HEART CORNDOGS!

Wordless Chicken Tuesday

2009-03-17T06:55:00.004+01:00

Brawk?

I vote for ME!!

Wordless Not-A-Chicken Tuesday ('Cuz I Forgot!)

2009-03-10T06:47:00.001+01:00

Sorry! I was too dang busy tamin' beavers!

(Ain't she cute? and smooooooooth too!)

Wordless Chicken Tuesday

2009-03-03T07:34:00.007+01:00

Big Deal.

I bet he doesn't even know how to tame a beaver.

Wordless Chicken Tuesday is brought to you

by ~~Doctor Shoal~~ Speedcat Hollydale!

Wordless Chicken Tuesday

2009-02-24T17:22:00.004+01:00

Your new hat is quite fetching, Doctah...

but I still say my hat is still the nicest.

Wordless Chicken Tuesday is brought to you

by ~~Doctor Shoal~~ Speedcat Hollydale!

Wordless Bra Wednesday

2009-02-18T08:23:00.007+01:00

Last night was a VERY busy night in the OR!

I had head transplants coming out my ears!

AND FOR SOME SILLY REASON....I don't think I'm done YET!

(Semi) Wordless Chicken Tuesday ~ Dive In...The Soup Is Fine!

2009-02-17T03:33:00.020+01:00

In fact, it's just what the Doctah ordered!

Because Chicken Soup acts as an anti-inflammatory by inhibiting the movement of neutrophils (immune system cells that participate in the body's inflammatory response)...AND it temporarily speeds up the movement of mucus through the nose, helping relieve congestion and limiting the amount of time viruses are in contact with the nose lining. In other words...

It gets the snot flowing so you feel better faster!

Well, it should come as no surprise that besides being a PhD Genious of Modern Medicine, Doctor Shoal is also a gourmet cook...but then, I'm no slouch in the kitchen either...so, in the interest of modern medicine (and my ego) I challenged Doctah Shoal to a little friendly competition to see

WHO'S CHICKEN SOUP could make the most mucus!

Doctah Shoal wasted no time in whooping up big batch of booger producing

Chicken Soup ala Shoal...

...and offered free bowls of it to hoards of under-the-weather bloggers...

...while the Beaver Taming/Nursing Staff helped me ladle up gallons of my delicious Even Better Than A Hugankiss Chicken Soup

to throngs of snot-nosed little Twitters!

The results?

Do you really wanna know?

It's kinda gross...

OK...

Click here for the effects of Doctah Shoal's soup

and here for mine!

(I think it was a tie!)

THIS POST IS FOR

SPEEDCAT HOLLYDALE'S (aka: Golfer Dood)

WORDLESS CHICKEN TUESDAY

Oh Doctah! I Gots Da Fevah!

2009-02-16T03:28:00.008+01:00

Do you gots da cure?

Wordless Bra Wednesday

2009-02-11T06:03:00.007+01:00

Oye!...the things I subject myself to in the name of Modern Medicine!

Doctah Shoal?....how do I get outta this thing?

WCT...or WTF?

2009-02-10T05:00:00.008+01:00

"To dream of a rooster, foretells that you will be very successful and rise to prominence, but you will allow yourself to become conceited over your fortunate rise. Seeing a brilliantly plumed Rooster in a dream indicates it is time to let others discover your true self, and strut your stuff to others. It can also symbolize the rhythm of some sexual act."

Holy crap Doctah! I really need to stop eating chicken before going to sleep!

What do you think Sigmund Freud would say about this?

Hard Times Call For Cheap Underwear

2009-02-08T04:01:00.011+01:00

But that doesn't mean you have skimp on satisfaction!

Thanks (again!) to Doctor Shoal, for only ONE DOLLAR you can have complete underwear satisfaction AND enough money left over to buy a pair of Doctor Shoal's "Walking On Air" socks! Or go to Taco Bell for dinner. Or put an pint of gas in your car. Or whatever. Doctor Shoal Underwear helps take a bite out of your budget woes without pinching wallet or your cheeks!

*If you place your order today....we'll throw in a special Doctor Shoal sock (men's sizes only) for free!

Call today:

1-800-SHOALWEAR

Just Playing Doctor and Nurse (Again!)

2009-01-30T00:00:00.007+01:00

It's been 2 months since we last peeked in on

The Doctah and Nurse Hugankiss....let's see what they've been up to!

Good thing I'm wearing glasses...I am a renegade...I wear paper glasses I made with a napkin and some bottle glass. -4 diopter correction is at the bottom of every 7-UP.

Paging Doctah Shoal! Paging Doctah Shoal! Crazy Golfer Dood is not making sense! Again....Plus he's been peeking at my SOURCE CODE! again

I am a PHD'ed Professional (confused look on face) Wanna take a bath??

DOCTAH!!!!!!!!!! WHere's your hypocratical oath?!?!

My oath is in the oath box under the nurses station drug cabinet.

You never make short serious comments either....I think you are confusing yourself with someone else!

I would love to see a waxed botox beaver ..... just sayin`

...shouldn't I be wearing some sort of protection too? From the gravy 'n all....

eeeknow ... mhe fingarz is ale gravi layden

Dang! It's wiggling...are you sure it's dead?

Yes, my rock gravidongio is doing wonders.

Now put them on....and say...Here Fishy Fishy...& wiggle the lures around....

The F%2 hyperbole` is quite quadriatic in nature. Using slash hash burns the HTML pan. We are also pioneering the new vitreous humor drowsey application. It has a solution of 5 parts Mello Yellow and 2 parts cheeto juice.

Beaver plug? Sack of beavers? That sounds kinda gross!!! Don't forget...this IS a respectable Nurses Station!!!!

...just finished installing a nose on Malina Fherenhousens BEFORE hand she was much to cheeky. Ahhhh he heeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

I also took her 5 chins and made a adams apple pie

THEN .... I did a seminar on love handle butter cupping

THEN .... did some Tie CHEEEEE ear iolan subdural massage - to stiffen and re-juvenate suppleness of the buttock

Are you making this stuff up?

Well...Love handle butter cupping is a homeopathic natural healing method procured by ancient Inca Indians of the Southwest. It invloves gyratical fluxuations and caremel applications to the torso. Then you put in the stick and wrap with wax paper

Wanna try a little PB on your weenis Doctah?

So much for the clean carpet

It's OK......the beavers will lap it up in the morning

GREAT SCOTTS!!!!!!!!!!! Don't throw away the head!

Why not? I do it all the time!

Oh Doctah!!! And here thought I knew everything there was to know about you....but I had no idea you used to be a drunken street gigolo!

I have been at a meeting with Santa at the North Pole,
and my pager was frozen to my wenis ... after a quick thaw, I am scrubing up for duty in the OR

Pager frozen to your weenis? No wonder you weren't responding!

You are a free spirit Nurse Hugans

Well I'm just glad the Good Doctah wasn't trying to lick his weenis...he could had his tongue frozen there too! Doctah??? Hoo-Yooo?!?

Is that green thing on your head the goiter?

I prefer to call my goiter Ms Tuesday

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!Doctah!!!!! PUT ME DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nurse nurse! ... there is a wenis on ur blog!!!!

Doctah? I'm almost finished knitting your Beaver Fur Bulbous Rex Warmer...did you want any tassles or sequins on it?

Nurse...I do not think you know how happy I get sometimes visiting the I C U Nurses station. I can be all streesed out from surgery, and then all of a sudden my ills the ale are beered desparatos riding moose in the desserts of Dairy Queen. I like strawberry Sundays myself.

Are you trying to make SENSE here? Please don't do that.

G night!!!... and yes, yours IS cuter hug hug

*smile*Yeah, but yours is bigger.

I tweeted you.....did ya feel it?

I did! I did!!

I poked you at Facebook

OW!!! My eye!

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOTCH!!

smoooooooooooooooooootch!!!!

Wordless Chicken Tuesday

2009-01-27T05:32:00.009+01:00

I think we all know WHY?!?

But now we also know HOW the chicken crossed the road!

In Doctah Shoal's car!

Wordless Chicken Tuesday brought to you by Speedcat Hollydale!

Music Monday

2009-01-26T05:03:00.009+01:00

Doctah Shoal is a big believer in natural healing.

And after listening to this song...

So am I!

It's just what The Doctah ordered!

Click HERE or more Music Monday madness!

Plumbing Issues...

2009-01-24T00:00:00.001+01:00

Beaver hair is really hard on the old pipes in my Beaver Taming Salon here at Hollydale General Hospital Clinic! And my poor plumbing hasn't been serviced in a really lonnnnng time...so I called Dick the Plumber to come out and perform a thorough inspection...to see if, ya know, maybe we can get things running smoothly again.

He was here for FOUR hours....

and I have never been happier!

Wordless Bra Wednesday

2009-01-21T00:00:00.002+01:00

Oink Oink!

Wordless Chicken Tuesday

2009-01-20T06:00:00.004+01:00

Doctah! I had the straaaaaaangest dream last night!

What do you think it means?

Go With The Flow!

2009-01-15T20:56:00.020+01:00

In an effort to save money for construction of his new state-of-the-art Chicken Wing, Doctor Shoal recently introduced Paper Napkin Bras

to the staff and patients at Hollydale General Hospital Clinic and Beaver Taming Salon.

So, I've been busy thinking up ways I could trim not just beavers, but a few costs 'round here as well. A quick peek inside the storage cupboard gave me this great idea:

Maxi Pad Slippers!

* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles

*Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Three convenient sizes:

1. Light

2. Regular

3. Heavy

They're a cinch to make too!

For the foot part, I just laid out two maxi pads, then wrapped two more pads around the toe area to form the top, then I glued the sides to the bottom of the foot part! (Decorations are optional, of course.)

Just wait 'til you see the earrings and

other cool stuff I'm making!

Wordless Bra Wednesday (Formerly On Tuesday)

2009-01-14T07:00:00.000+01:00

Presenting the

Amazing New Doctor Shoal

Mega-Mammary Injector System 2000! Doctah Shoal invented it.

I can't remember why...

maybe he will drop by to tell me...

and help me take it off...

it's really REALLY HEAVY!

Wordless Chicken Tuesday

2009-01-13T07:36:00.007+01:00

Could be a busy night N D I C U!

I am happy to play along with

Doctah Shoal's Golfing Buddy,

Speedcat Hollydale's

WORDLESS CHICKEN TUESDAY!

Quack?!?

2009-01-12T04:48:00.003+01:00

Here's my contribution to Doctah Shoal's favorite patient,

Drowsey Monkey's
Mellow Yellow Monday Photo Meme

(Not the only Quack you'll find 'round here, but possibly the cutest!)

He Ain't No Einstein....

2009-01-10T00:00:00.007+01:00

...but Doctah Shoal is

a PhD Geenious of Modern Medicine... ...AND

HTML stuff too!!!

(Plus, he's way more handsome than that other guy too.)

*sigh*

(Semi) Wordless Bra Tuesday

2009-01-06T00:00:00.003+01:00

Looky what Doctah Shoal made just for me!!!

It's a MIRACLE BRA

made outta 22,000 geniuwine diamonds!

And it took the talented Doctah ONLY 2 days to make!

...and 75 tacos, 15 bowls of chili, a bushel of brussel sprouts, 8 bowls of oatmeal, 3 gallons of prune juice and lots 'n lots of beans!

Thanks Doctah! Your poop really DOESN'T stink!

Smoooooootch!

Check Out My New Year's Eve Party Outfit!

2008-12-31T06:32:00.021+01:00

Unfortunatley, the dang Disco Ball

Doctor Shoal wanted me to

bring to the party is SO BIG

you can't see it!

Gosh...

This Doctor Shoal Invention Really Sucks!

2008-12-26T00:00:00.007+01:00

(Original advertisement found at Modern Mechanix - click to blow it up)

Some might think they're hairbrained,

but I think The Doctah comes up with the BEST IDEAS!

'Specially late at night....

Wordless Bra Tuesday

2008-12-23T00:00:00.002+01:00

As a Nurse, I just LOVE to stitch stuff up!

So I whipped up this cute little Santa number with

leftover sutures and dental floss!

Pretty crafty, huh?

Ho Ho Ho!

Doctah Shoal Learns A Lesson

2008-12-21T06:26:00.011+01:00

DOCTAH!

What did I tell you about eating

ALL the Christmas cookies!?!

Oooooh Nurse...

I just love your Chocolate Crinkle Tops

....but now

I feel like me goiter's

gonna POP!

Wordless Beaver Wednesday

2008-12-17T06:15:00.007+01:00

Doctah Shoal! I found the music for our Christmas Party!

Semi-Wordless Bra Tuesday

2008-12-16T01:00:00.016+01:00

In memory of

Bettie Page

April 22, 1923 - December 11, 2008

You are still an inspiration to us all.

(Even those who really should not go there...)

Thank you, Nurse Bettie, for letting me borrow your bodacious uniform

(and body) for the HGHC & BTS Christmas Party!

I will try not to spill any punch on it...but if I do, I promise to do

exactly what you would have done! <---click

And then I will dance like you too!

Rest in Peace, Bettie Page

Stick A Sock On It Doctah!

2008-12-14T02:22:00.026+01:00

Doctah Shoal's little pet wally has sure been getting a LOT of attention on Twitter these days! See here!

And since it's Christmas-time, I asked Olga (Twitter's Santa Hat Elf) to fix them up with a couple of Santa Hats!

Don't they look festive?

The Doctah wore his Santa Hat to the Annual Hollydale General Hospital Clinic and Beaver Taming Salon's Christmas Party!

But things got a little crazy once the Good Doctah turned on the disco music....

and stripped down to his sock!

Yes...sock.

Apparently he only wears one.

Wanna see it?

Ya sure?

OK....

Click here!

Ho-Ho-Ho!

Wordless Beaver Wednesday

2008-12-10T06:03:00.016+01:00

To top off my new holiday party outfit for the

Hollydale General Hospital Clinic and Beaver Taming Salon's

Annual Christmas Party (phew!)....I chose this snappy little Red-Sheared-Beaver

and White-Rabbit Santa Hat!

(No, I did NOT make it and neither did Olga!)

Click on my picture for details about the hat!

*Find the complete list of

Wordless Beaver Wednesday links here: Speedcat 2008

Wordless Bra Tuesday

2008-12-09T01:00:00.004+01:00

Before I became a Nurse, I worked a lot of odd jobs...

like...Car Show Model!

Here I am modeling the latest in portable headlights

(invented of course, by Doctah Shoal)

at the prestigious Hollydale Holiday Car Show!

Sure, it was fun ~ but I still think being a Nurse is waaaaay funner!

(And my hat is nicer too!)

MORE WORDLESS BRA TUESDAY SUPPORT:

CatScratch Diva - World's BIGGEST Bra

Fishin' With The Doctah

2008-12-06T04:30:00.002+01:00

Doctah Shoal has been working so hard and pulling a lot of night shifts lately...so I suggested we close up shop early today and go try our luck out on Lake Hollydale...home to the elusive Norwatrouteiven.

Of course, Doctah Shoal brought his special Shoal Pole with the

460 degree Fukiamajiggyma Bobber on the end...

and as you can see he landed a BIG ONE!

But mine's cuter.

Don't ya think?

Semi-Wordless Beaver Wednesday

2008-12-03T06:00:00.004+01:00

My Official Nurse Amanda Beaver Taming Mask

will not only help protect sensitive, exposed *body parts

during the beaver taming process...

but it's so dang cute that even the peskiest beaver

will quickly become putty in your hands!

Only $10 per box of 100

Order yours today and I'll throw in a free razor!

1-800-BEAVERMASK

Hey, Doctah Shoal isn't the only one who can invent cool stuff!

*eyes, ears, stuff like that

Wordless Bra Tuesday

2008-12-02T06:00:00.003+01:00

Awwww....feelin' kinda low down and droopy?You need

Doctor Shoal's AtTITude Adjustment Bra!

Only $12.34 per bra

1-800-LIFTMEUP

Order today and we'll throw in a complimentary pair of

Doctor Shoal's patented heavy-duty YANK-EM-UP Straps

(for those really bad days)...for free!

Seven Things About ME!

2008-11-30T06:00:00.014+01:00

In an effort to better understand WHO I AM
my Late Night Shift Assistant, Nurse Awake In Rochester

has asked me to reveal SEVEN INTERESTING THINGS about myself!

So here goes:

1. I am a lousy speller. I graduated last in Spelling at the Hollydale School for Wayward Nurses. Big deal. I hardly ever need to spell stuff right anyway.

2. However, I graduated at the head of my class in Hair Removal and Head Transplants....which here at Hollydale General Hospital Clinic and Beaver Taming Salon is waaay more important and useful than Spelling!
So there!

3. I was conceived very late one night by accident...but both of my parents say it was pretty much the most fun they ever had with someone they'd never even met before.

4. Both of my parents are crazy. Dad has a split personality and is always running around forgetting what his name is and/or where he is. I can't tell you how many times we've had to go pick him up from the golf course wearing nothing but his socks! Mom lives in a fantasy world...and has trouble remembering her name too (weird, huh?) and she also disappears from time to time to places no one's ever heard of before ('cept maybe for dad.)

5. I enjoy playing blog-volleyball, knitting stuff outta left-over beaver fur, eating corn dogs, Paging Doctah Shoal, and ~~goofing around~~ operating
N D I C U!

6. I LOVE my nice hat.
I cannot imagine life without it.

It is what makes me, me!

7. And I love Doctah Shoal.
(Professionally speaking, of course)

I cannot imagine life without him.

He is what makes me, me!

Oooops! I almost forgot!...I am TAGGING Doctah Shoal to do this MEME too!

"Necessity is the Doctor of Invention" ~ so says Doctor Shoal

2008-11-29T02:07:00.017+01:00

Introducing

Doctor Shoal's Amazing Polypropylanimalalimine Beard Covers

When safety, sanitation, and good looks counts, don't forget about the beard covers! The amazing Doctor Shoal's Polypropylanimalalimine Beard Cover is made from a soft, breathable material and it's full size elastic fit provides complete coverage for even the most gigantic head and/or hairyest chin. It's stylish good looks makes it suitable for extended wear in or out of the OR and ensures worry-free performance during surgery and/or even the messiest meal!

Meets all FDA standards

Sold by the box/100 And if you order today, we'll throw in a boatload of

Doctor Shoal's Disgustingly Thick Bean Soup Gravy Mix for free!

Call 1-800-CUINDICU

Wordless Beaver Wednesday

2008-11-26T17:50:00.007+01:00

Speedykinspoopooheadius Homo Sapiens Castor Canadensis

(aka: CrAzY Adult Male Blogging Beaver)

More Wordless Beaver Wednesday FUN found here:

Doctor Shoal's Really BIG Beaver

Daisy's Turkey Revolt!

Miss Money Penny Traps a Beaver!

Wordless Bra Tuesday

2008-11-25T06:00:00.004+01:00

A Bottle Bra!

CHEERS!

More Wordless Bra Tuesday Support:

Funny Bone Inspector, Miss MoneyPenny has posted this Topless Bathing Beauty!
Doctor Shoal - Un sujetador muy grande y demasiado caliente salsa!

Even As A Little Shaver...

2008-11-24T17:33:00.005+01:00

I knew

I was destined for a career in Nursing and Hair Removal!(And for wearing nice hats)

And now...

....thanks to Doctor Shoal...
I get to practice my beloved craft day and night!

THANK YOU DOCTAH!

You da best (and handsomest) Doc in da biz!

**************************

Feeling Hairy?

I can help!

Call or stop by the

Hollydale General Hospital Clinic's

Beaver Tamer Salon

and discover a whole new you!
(men, women, or whatever!)

1-800-HGHCBEAVER

Great News for Beavers and Other Hairy Beasts!

2008-11-23T06:13:00.015+01:00

Hollydale General Hospital Clinic's Beaver Taming Salon
is now OPEN for business!

And we specialize in taming not only beavers,

but ALL types of hairy critters....So why be a hairy beast when you can be a smooth operator?

At Hollydale General Hospital Clinic's Beaver Tamer Salon,

We have a friendly staff of experienced professionals

and an wide assortment of razors to choose from.

Call and make YOUR appointment today! 1-800-HGHCBEAVER

And then, to further enhance your new look,

how about letting Doctor Shoal have a whack at your face

with one of his new state of the art Plastic Surgery Treatments?

Paging Doctah Shoal! Paging Doctah Shoal! CODE BOOB! CODE BOOB!

2008-11-21T00:40:00.008+01:00

Doctah Shoal! We have an EMERGENCY!!!

When your last breast augmentation patient said she was

"hoping to get her old boobs back"...

I think you misunderstood!

Please report to the OR STAT!

I've got her all prepped and awaiting your skillful surgeon's hands.

And I have your trusty 9-iron all sterilized and ready to go!

Wordless Beaver Wednesday

2008-11-19T06:00:00.002+01:00

Click to biggify da Beaver Bra

(Evidence that Olga really IS everywhere!)

Wordless Bra Tuesday

2008-11-18T06:00:00.002+01:00

Well, sorta.

(This bra is never at a loss for words!)

The Hollydale General Hospital Clinic's Christmas Party Preview!

2008-11-16T19:14:00.001+01:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Just Playing Doctor and Nurse

2008-11-15T09:37:00.000+01:00

Hopefully a few of the following actual comments between the handsome

Doctor Shoal and me, Nurse Amanda Hugankiss (with the nice hat)

will clear up any more confusion about WHO WE ARE and

WHAT THE HECK WE ARE DOING?!

Doctah Shoal: You paged, nurse?

Nurse Hugankiss: Oh! I see you worked the night shift Doctah Excitement!

I am Speedy Cat, yes. This blog started from comments at "Speedcat Hollydale"....Doctor Shoal is my alias blog, and Nurse Hugankiss is really Olga the Traveling Bra"

WHAT?!?!?! I thought Doctor Shoal was my brother?...or something...
I mean I thought Speedy was my brother....Or....is that Speedy is Olga's brother? And I am Doctor Shoal's sister? No...that can't be right either!

Just like old times on the chicken ranch ... ehh??

This is a respectable Nurse's Station...also Clinic....and sometimes a Chat Room....I'm thinking about adding a bar and some disco music too!

I request a lighted floor please ...

OHHHH yeah ... that's what I'm talkin about. I see my list is growing bigger

Oh my yes it is just huge!

Nurse! Nurse! .... where is the creme?? My rash is coming back too.

Oh For Gawdsakes! Another ailment, Doctah?!?! Can't ya just smear some Magical Weena Creme on it & be HAPPY!?!?!

On me bum ... take a good (look) at the darn bugger

WHOA DANG!!!! Professionally speaking...that is very impressive!

.... are you lookin at my salmon???

OMG....I dont WANT to look at it...but I just cant HELP MYSELF!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!

Those are my poped out aeriolies!!

Time is patients!

I assume you will be operating late this evening Doctah?

I will stop only to potti

Oh dear...are you doing your own anestheia again Doctah?!?!

am afraid so ... grab the G7 super potty injection kit and a shoe horn

Will you be needing/wanting a catheder, Doctah???

The nasal cavities will be added later. We all needed to get home and blog about our new attachments.

Hmmmmm, don't you think you'd get better results using your 460 Degree Fukiamathingamajigger...ya know, the one with the flexible shaft?

Golf clubs are surgical instraments in my large hands ...

Plastic surgery is not your specialty....but you are excellent at making stuff up! I appreciate that!

HEY!!!! .... why is me bum smoking???

It's a fricken LAZER....it'll burn right through your pants!!!

woof woof ..... running down the hall

I seem to have lost my head - I saw Nurse Huggans running down the hall with one - headed torwards the X-Ray machine

Head transplants are EASY!!!!!

Alright Amanda .. you come down from there and splain this whole thing to me....

Wait till your colonoscopy results are in.

I eagerly await with bowels retracted!

Duh!...of course I'm a nurse...can't you tell by my hat?

The world of doctrin and nusin spans soooo many canyons in the mountainous regions of life ....

Doctah.....you are starting to irritate me like a rash...

Did you know nobody can lick there own wenis??? Try it yourself! I did today though. My elbow skin was so far protruding!!!!!

Are you challenging me to a wenis war?!?

I am twisting the tar out of mine(s) to get ready for the wenis war ....... after my swelling goes down

Takes your mind off your rashy azz though, eh?

Well, the undees are flat cause they are 10 sizes tooo tight! My manberries are crunched into diamonds

My shift is covered... with cream...I mean ointment.

I did yours ... now you do mine!!!

You should go lie down & rest Doctah...you've been through QUITE an ordeal this evening. I will clean up the mess.

I have been very busty today

Dr. Smoooooooooootchiepants.

..... and I now have a smooth lusterous appearance!!!!!!!

I think I may write a song about this!!

Wordless Beaver Wednesday

2008-11-12T03:57:00.000+01:00

Meet Barry the Beaver!

I want one.

(for a friend)

Wordless Bra Tuesday

2008-11-11T07:13:00.001+01:00

* bang-bang!*

How to Make A Paper Hat! (Sorta Like Mine But Not As Nice)

2008-11-05T20:26:00.000+01:00

Step 1: Take one large newspaper sheet that consists of two pages on each side.

Step 2: Fold in half lengthwise (the way it comes in the newspaper).

Step 3: Fold in half again (bringing the top of the paper to the bottom).

Step 4: Fold corners (on folded side) to middle. This will make a pointed top to paper.

Step 5: Fold one piece of bottom of paper up to the bottom of the pointed fold.

Step 6: Fold bottom again until it overlaps a little of the pointed part.

Step 7: Turn hat over.

Step 8: Fold sides in about 1 1/2 to 2 inches (it will look like a house). For an adult-sized head, fold in only an inch or so - these folds determine the hat size.

Step 9: Fold bottom up twice.

Step 10: Pull opening in hat apart to make a hat shape.

There ya go Doctah!

Enjoy your new hat! :)
(I hope you will post a picture of you wearing it!)

Oh, and thank you to whoever the smartypants is who wrote these directions!

Wordless Bra Tuesday

2008-11-04T09:00:00.000+01:00

Doctor Shoal...please help me.

Please Smoosh Your Boobies

2008-10-27T15:37:00.012+01:00

Squished boobies are no fun! But then neither is Breast Cancer.

Annual mammograms, combined with breast self-examination, and regular breast examination by an experienced health care professional, (such as Doctor Shoal,) increases the chance of detecting cancer early...which decreases your risk of dying from the disease by 25 - 30% or more.

Now, on the other hand....

Smooshed Boobies are VERY FUN!

...and are a creative way to help promote Breast Cancer Awareness

Please visit Smoosh Your Boobies! for more information...

(oh yes, those are mine)

THANK YOU DOCTAH SHOAL

FOR SUPPORTING SMOOSHED BOOBIES...

AND INVENTING THE ELECTRO GAMMIO TEST BRA!

No More Scrawny Necks!

2008-10-24T19:48:00.006+02:00

(Original advertisement found at Modern Mechanix)

The average human head measures about 22 inches in circumference and weighs about 12 pounds...but Doctor Shoal sports a gigantic 48 incher,

so you just KNOW that thing's gotta weigh a LOT!

As a result carrying around such an enormous head, the Doctah has pretty much written the book on developing one's neck muscles...and it is available for purchase for only 25 cents (in coin)...so get yours today and Doctor Shoal will throw in a complimentary dance lesson absolutely free!

You Asked For It...

2008-10-24T05:24:00.003+02:00

Oh dear gawd....Doctah Shoal!!!

Do something!!!!

What A Wenis!

2008-10-23T07:00:00.005+02:00

Poor Doctor Shoal....he's been working so hard lately... look what's happened to his wenis!

Better rub some creme on that thing Doctah...it's pretty dang gross.

Wordless Beaver Wednesday

2008-10-22T07:00:00.005+02:00

As per Doctah's orders

(...which are getting stranger 'n stanger!!!)

(Not so) Wordless Bra Tuesday on Monday

2008-10-20T07:00:00.011+02:00

October is
National Breast Cancer Awareness Month

And the ever thoughtful Doctah Shoal is providing FREE breast exams

at the downtown Hollydale Food Mart every day from 8am-5pm!

(And at night, by appointment only.)

Bring a sweater, it gets chilly in produce section

He's Not Just A Golfer Dude Arugula Doctah!

2008-10-18T02:52:00.001+02:00

Whoda' thunk that the handsome Doctah Shoal is also a world renowned expert on greens?! And I'm not talking about the kind you find on a golf course either! (Although he sure knows his stuff about those too.)

The other day, in between corn dog deliveries and dealing with pesky beavers, the multi-talented Doctah took a little break to fill me in on the virtues of greens such as arugula, escarole, and even endive! Then, much to my surprise, he whipped up a little Shoal Seazer Salad with his Special Yogurt-Gravy dressing. Believe me...it was to die for!

And...he even did the dishes! *sigh*

Think you know your greens?.....Well then, name these!

First person to answer correctly gets an autographed copy of Doctor Shoal's soon to be published cookbook:

GREENS ~

They Aren't Just For Putting Anymore!

(Or, You Say Arugula...I Say Escarole!)

Classic Night Nurse

2008-10-16T20:30:00.001+02:00

She's my hero!!!(Besides Doctah Shoal, of course)Even more Night NurseNight Nurse NIGHT NURSE!!!

Wordless Bra Tuesday

2008-10-14T09:00:00.001+02:00

As per Doctor's orders....

How To Tame A Pesky Beaver

2008-10-13T21:57:00.005+02:00

Mellom baby mais hunder og norsk bevers,

dette stedet Hollydale General Hospital blir en dyrehage!

Jeg bare håper at dette tames de pesky bevers!

(need translation? click da pic!)

Will Wonders Never Cease At Hollydale General Hospital?!

2008-10-11T04:00:00.000+02:00

For some strange reason,

Hollydale General Hospital

is experiencing a great big boom of baby corn dogs!

They are very cute, but kinda messy....

So, Doctah?!?....please send more mustard and napkins!

STAT!

Chicken Breasts Gone BAD....

2008-10-08T21:25:00.000+02:00

Poor Doctah Shoal...

Looks like his love for chicken

and his interest in breast implants

got kinda mixed up!

I think he might want to keep his "experimentation"

limited to cremes and ointments...

don't you?

One thing Doctah Shoal doesn't know about me is....

2008-10-07T21:04:00.001+02:00

...................I never could resist a dare!

Got Goiter?

2008-10-06T06:04:00.000+02:00

Doctor Shoals sure has been having an unfortunate streak of bad luck lately....what with his P.O.A. and Rashy Azz (not to mention the fact that his little foray into the world of Magical Cremes seems to have taken up gobs of his free time)...NOW the poor man is suffering from a golf-ball sized goiter!

This is simply NOT unacceptable because, professionally speaking,

it is really really gross,

PLUS Doctor Shoal's handsome face deserves a handsome neck!

So I took it upon myself to do little research and whaddya know!

I discovered an easy cure!

Iodized Salt!

Ya just need MORE SALT on your chicken wings, Doctah!

click to biggify

Now, who's your favorite nurse?!

Doctor Shoal's CURE FOR UNSIGHTLY AZZ

2008-10-04T04:53:00.001+02:00

Click to biggify

(Original advertisement found at Modern Mechanix)

If you suffer from THIS...and all the recommended creams and ointments are just not working for you, then try Dr. Shoal's newest invention,

the Hollydale Pose Breefs!

The special elasticized nylon fabric is impregnated with a steroid cream (nomorecrackbutt) to help soothe your rashy azz and minimize your, er, discomfort.

And if nothing else, at least your unsightly azz will be covered UP!

Personally endorsed and worn by Doctor Shoal!

Order yours today and you'll receive the free brochure

"How Come My Butt Itches?" absolutely FREE!

Shazam! A Man's Cream For A Man's Face!

2008-10-02T04:03:00.000+02:00

Following hot on the heels of his amazing

Shoal Surgical Memory Pump AND the Shoal Heated Bra,

Dr. Shoal proudly presents

SHAZAM! - A Man's Cream For A Man's Face!

Click to biggify

(Original advertisement found at Modern Mechanix)

Dr. Shoal's unusual interest in creams and ointments has not only gotten him into some sticky situations, but also led to this remarkable discovery which when applied daily will "invigorate and harden your facial muscles and promote an alert, forceful expression!"

Just like Doctor Shoal!

Guaranteed

or your dollar back!

And if you order now - Dr. Shoal will throw in a complimentary

Halloweenie Card - free of charge!

(Thanks Doctah!)

Your Answer to P.O.A!

2008-09-30T00:47:00.001+02:00

That Doctor Shoal sure is a smart (& handsome) Doctor!

As if his Shoal Surgical Memory Pump wasn't amazing enough,

now he's gone and found an answer to the dreaded cold weather problem:

POA! (Popped Out Aeroli) Introducing the Shoal Heated Bra!

It contains special pads filled with an eco-friendly gel that can

be easily heated in a microwave or with a hot water bottle.
It is available in white and features a pendant shaped like a chilli pepper dangling on its front...and it also includes a fashionable furry boa designed to double as a winter scarf.

Get yours today at Doctor Shoal's Medical Supply House!

And if you order now, we'll throw in a free Salmon Thermometer!

Morning Bad/Night Good ~ So Says Doctor Shoal

2008-09-26T09:00:00.000+02:00

click to biggify

(Original article found at Modern Mechanix)

The handsome Doctor Shoal is seen here testing his ERO (Electrical Recording Instrument) on famous Blogger and BSDD (Blogger Sleep Deprivation Disorder) sufferer Drowsey Monkey. Ms. Monkey has not been able to work in the morning ever since she started blogging over one year ago (but woo-woo!...check out that sexy arm!) and Doctor Shoal says he "intends to stay up-late and on-line every single night for as long as it takes to find out why!" Hopefully the good doctor will find for a cure for troublesome brain disorders such as BSDD, OCD (Obsessive Computer Disorder) and the dreaded (and sometimes embarassing) MBPD (Multiple Blogger Personality Disorder) which seems to be on the rise and running rampant in the blogosphere!

For more information and examples of all sorts of brain disorders, be sure to visit one of Doctor Shoal's multiple ~~personalities~~ blogs: Doctor Shoal, Speedcat Hollydale Page, 0007 Undercover TAGMEMAWARDCAT, Hollydale Golf Notes, Cripe Zone, The Phepping Foundation, I Am Grampa. (Oh, and tell him ~~Olga, the Traveling Bra~~ Nurse Amanda says "~~Happy Anniversary!~~ I just love you to pieces Doctah!.... and...Happy 1,000th Post!")

Test Results #2

2008-09-26T04:55:00.000+02:00

The other day Doctor Shoal told me (and I quote)

"My tummy is like IRON. IRONBELLY !!!!! hoooo Heeeee!!!!"

Now we know why!

Here are the results of Dr. Shoal's recent belly examination.

Get Back Doctah!!!

2008-09-20T19:44:00.000+02:00

Click to biggify

(Original advertisement found at Modern Mechanix)

Doctah! Doctah! You made the news!!!

Test Results

2008-09-19T07:57:00.000+02:00

Here are the results of "Dr. Shoal's'" recent head examination.

There's nothing there!

I mean, the results were negative.

STAND STILL!!!!

2008-09-19T04:47:00.000+02:00

I wanna shoot you with my Raytek MiniTemp MT4 Infrared Laser Thermometer!

Dammit!!!!