11. And I have a NICE hat!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Wordless Chicken Tuesday Redux
'Cuz I'm too dang busy to come up with a new post!....I mean....
Bra'wk!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
TODAY is the BEST DAY of the YEAR!
National Corndog Day coincides with the Saturday of the final 32 teams in NCAA basketball tournament (this year it’s March 21st). If over the course of National Corndog Day, at an official NCD party, you can consume 10 corndogs, 10 beers, and 10 "units" of tater tots (100 tots total) you have achieved the notorious "triple-double." It is a feat that has been seldom accomplished.
Unfortunately, since Spring has sprung, I am booked up to my eyeballs at the Beaver Taming Salon, so I won't be attending any parties...but you can bet yer mustard I will be chowin' down on corndogs ALL DAY (and prolly night too) in the breakroom because....
I HEART CORNDOGS!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Wordless Not-A-Chicken Tuesday ('Cuz I Forgot!)
Sorry! I was too dang busy tamin' beavers!(Ain't she cute? and smooooooooth too!)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Wordless Chicken Tuesday
Big Deal.
I bet he doesn't even know how to tame a beaver.
Wordless Chicken Tuesday is brought to you
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Wordless Chicken Tuesday
Your new hat is quite fetching, Doctah...but I still say my hat is still the nicest.
Wordless Chicken Tuesday is brought to you
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Wordless Bra Wednesday
Last night was a VERY busy night in the OR!
I had head transplants coming out my ears!
AND FOR SOME SILLY REASON....I don't think I'm done YET!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
(Semi) Wordless Chicken Tuesday ~ Dive In...The Soup Is Fine!
In fact, it's just what the Doctah ordered!
Because Chicken Soup acts as an anti-inflammatory by inhibiting the movement of neutrophils (immune system cells that participate in the body's inflammatory response)...AND it temporarily speeds up the movement of mucus through the nose, helping relieve congestion and limiting the amount of time viruses are in contact with the nose lining. In other words...
It gets the snot flowing so you feel better faster!Well, it should come as no surprise that besides being a PhD Genious of Modern Medicine, Doctor Shoal is also a gourmet cook...but then, I'm no slouch in the kitchen either...so, in the interest of modern medicine (and my ego) I challenged Doctah Shoal to a little friendly competition to see
WHO'S CHICKEN SOUP could make the most mucus!
...and offered free bowls of it to hoards of under-the-weather bloggers...
...while the Beaver Taming/Nursing Staff helped me ladle up gallons of my delicious Even Better Than A Hugankiss Chicken Soup to throngs of snot-nosed little Twitters!
The results?
Do you really wanna know?
It's kinda gross...
OK...
Click here for the effects of Doctah Shoal's soup
and here for mine!
(I think it was a tie!)
THIS POST IS FOR
SPEEDCAT HOLLYDALE'S (aka: Golfer Dood)
Monday, February 16, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Wordless Bra Wednesday
Oye!...the things I subject myself to in the name of Modern Medicine!
Doctah Shoal?....how do I get outta this thing?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
WCT...or WTF?
"To dream of a rooster, foretells that you will be very successful and rise to prominence, but you will allow yourself to become conceited over your fortunate rise. Seeing a brilliantly plumed Rooster in a dream indicates it is time to let others discover your true self, and strut your stuff to others. It can also symbolize the rhythm of some sexual act."
Holy crap Doctah! I really need to stop eating chicken before going to sleep!What do you think Sigmund Freud would say about this?
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Hard Times Call For Cheap Underwear
But that doesn't mean you have skimp on satisfaction!
Thanks (again!) to Doctor Shoal, for only ONE DOLLAR you can have complete underwear satisfaction AND enough money left over to buy a pair of Doctor Shoal's "Walking On Air" socks! Or go to Taco Bell for dinner. Or put an pint of gas in your car. Or whatever. Doctor Shoal Underwear helps take a bite out of your budget woes without pinching wallet or your cheeks!*If you place your order today....we'll throw in a special Doctor Shoal sock (men's sizes only) for free!
Call today:
1-800-SHOALWEAR
Friday, January 30, 2009
Just Playing Doctor and Nurse (Again!)
It's been 2 months since we last peeked in on
The Doctah and Nurse Hugankiss....let's see what they've been up to!
Good thing I'm wearing glasses...I am a renegade...I wear paper glasses I made with a napkin and some bottle glass. -4 diopter correction is at the bottom of every 7-UP.
Paging Doctah Shoal! Paging Doctah Shoal! Crazy Golfer Dood is not making sense! Again....Plus he's been peeking at my SOURCE CODE! againI am a PHD'ed Professional (confused look on face) Wanna take a bath??
DOCTAH!!!!!!!!!! WHere's your hypocratical oath?!?!
My oath is in the oath box under the nurses station drug cabinet.
You never make short serious comments either....I think you are confusing yourself with someone else!
I would love to see a waxed botox beaver ..... just sayin`
...shouldn't I be wearing some sort of protection too? From the gravy 'n all....
eeeknow ... mhe fingarz is ale gravi laydenDang! It's wiggling...are you sure it's dead?
Yes, my rock gravidongio is doing wonders.
Now put them on....and say...Here Fishy Fishy...& wiggle the lures around....
The F%2 hyperbole` is quite quadriatic in nature. Using slash hash burns the HTML pan. We are also pioneering the new vitreous humor drowsey application. It has a solution of 5 parts Mello Yellow and 2 parts cheeto juice.
Beaver plug? Sack of beavers? That sounds kinda gross!!! Don't forget...this IS a respectable Nurses Station!!!!
...just finished installing a nose on Malina Fherenhousens BEFORE hand she was much to cheeky. Ahhhh he heeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
I also took her 5 chins and made a adams apple pie
THEN .... I did a seminar on love handle butter cupping
THEN .... did some Tie CHEEEEE ear iolan subdural massage - to stiffen and re-juvenate suppleness of the buttock
Are you making this stuff up?
Well...Love handle butter cupping is a homeopathic natural healing method procured by ancient Inca Indians of the Southwest. It invloves gyratical fluxuations and caremel applications to the torso. Then you put in the stick and wrap with wax paper
Wanna try a little PB on your weenis Doctah?
So much for the clean carpet
It's OK......the beavers will lap it up in the morningGREAT SCOTTS!!!!!!!!!!! Don't throw away the head!
Why not? I do it all the time!
Oh Doctah!!! And here thought I knew everything there was to know about you....but I had no idea you used to be a drunken street gigolo!
I have been at a meeting with Santa at the North Pole,and my pager was frozen to my wenis ... after a quick thaw, I am scrubing up for duty in the OR
Pager frozen to your weenis? No wonder you weren't responding!
You are a free spirit Nurse Hugans
Well I'm just glad the Good Doctah wasn't trying to lick his weenis...he could had his tongue frozen there too! Doctah??? Hoo-Yooo?!?
I prefer to call my goiter Ms Tuesday
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!Doctah!!!!! PUT ME DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nurse nurse! ... there is a wenis on ur blog!!!!
Doctah? I'm almost finished knitting your Beaver Fur Bulbous Rex Warmer...did you want any tassles or sequins on it? 
Nurse...I do not think you know how happy I get sometimes visiting the I C U Nurses station. I can be all streesed out from surgery, and then all of a sudden my ills the ale are beered desparatos riding moose in the desserts of Dairy Queen. I like strawberry Sundays myself.
Are you trying to make SENSE here? Please don't do that.
G night!!!... and yes, yours IS cuter hug hug
*smile*Yeah, but yours is bigger.
I tweeted you.....did ya feel it?
I did! I did!!
I poked you at Facebook
OW!!! My eye!
SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOTCH!!
smoooooooooooooooooootch!!!!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Wordless Chicken Tuesday
I think we all know WHY?!?
But now we also know HOW the chicken crossed the road!
In Doctah Shoal's car!
Wordless Chicken Tuesday brought to you by Speedcat Hollydale!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Music Monday
Doctah Shoal is a big believer in natural healing.
And after listening to this song...
So am I!
It's just what The Doctah ordered!
Click HERE or more Music Monday madness!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Plumbing Issues...
Beaver hair is really hard on the old pipes in my Beaver Taming Salon here at Hollydale General Hospital Clinic! And my poor plumbing hasn't been serviced in a really lonnnnng time...so I called Dick the Plumber to come out and perform a thorough inspection...to see if, ya know, maybe we can get things running smoothly again.
He was here for FOUR hours....
and I have never been happier!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Go With The Flow!
In an effort to save money for construction of his new state-of-the-art Chicken Wing, Doctor Shoal recently introduced Paper Napkin Bras
to the staff and patients at Hollydale General Hospital Clinic and Beaver Taming Salon.
So, I've been busy thinking up ways I could trim not just beavers, but a few costs 'round here as well. A quick peek inside the storage cupboard gave me this great idea:
Maxi Pad Slippers!
* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
*Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Three convenient sizes:
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Three convenient sizes:
1. Light
2. Regular
3. Heavy
They're a cinch to make too!
For the foot part, I just laid out two maxi pads, then wrapped two more pads around the toe area to form the top, then I glued the sides to the bottom of the foot part! (Decorations are optional, of course.)
Just wait 'til you see the earrings and
other cool stuff I'm making!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Wordless Bra Wednesday (Formerly On Tuesday)
Presenting the
Amazing New Doctor Shoal
Mega-Mammary Injector System 2000! 
Doctah Shoal invented it.
Doctah Shoal invented it.I can't remember why...
maybe he will drop by to tell me...
and help me take it off...
it's really REALLY HEAVY!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Wordless Chicken Tuesday
Could be a busy night N D I C U!I am happy to play along with
Doctah Shoal's Golfing Buddy,
WORDLESS CHICKEN TUESDAY!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Quack?!?
Here's my contribution to Doctah Shoal's favorite patient,
(Not the only Quack you'll find 'round here, but possibly the cutest!)
Saturday, January 10, 2009
He Ain't No Einstein....
...but Doctah Shoal is
a PhD Geenious of Modern Medicine... 
...AND
...ANDHTML stuff too!!!
(Plus, he's way more handsome than that other guy too.)
*sigh*
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
(Semi) Wordless Bra Tuesday
Looky what Doctah Shoal made just for me!!!
It's a MIRACLE BRA
made outta 22,000 geniuwine diamonds!
And it took the talented Doctah ONLY 2 days to make!
...and 75 tacos, 15 bowls of chili, a bushel of brussel sprouts, 8 bowls of oatmeal, 3 gallons of prune juice and lots 'n lots of beans!
Thanks Doctah! Your poop really DOESN'T stink!
Smoooooootch!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Check Out My New Year's Eve Party Outfit!
Unfortunatley, the dang Disco Ball Doctor Shoal wanted me to
bring to the party is SO BIG
you can't see it!
Gosh...
Friday, December 26, 2008
This Doctor Shoal Invention Really Sucks!
Some might think they're hairbrained,
but I think The Doctah comes up with the BEST IDEAS!
'Specially late at night....
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Wordless Bra Tuesday
As a Nurse, I just LOVE to stitch stuff up!
So I whipped up this cute little Santa number with
leftover sutures and dental floss!
Pretty crafty, huh?
Ho Ho Ho!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Doctah Shoal Learns A Lesson
DOCTAH!
What did I tell you about eating
ALL the Christmas cookies!?!
Oooooh Nurse...
....but now
I feel like me goiter's
gonna POP!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Doctah ShoalTuesday, December 16, 2008
Semi-Wordless Bra Tuesday
In memory of
April 22, 1923 - December 11, 2008
You are still an inspiration to us all.
(Even those who really should not go there...)
Thank you, Nurse Bettie, for letting me borrow your bodacious uniform
(and body) for the HGHC & BTS Christmas Party!
I will try not to spill any punch on it...but if I do, I promise to do
And then I will dance like you too!
Rest in Peace, Bettie Page
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Stick A Sock On It Doctah!
Doctah Shoal's little pet wally has sure been getting a LOT of attention on Twitter these days! See here!
And since it's Christmas-time, I asked Olga (Twitter's Santa Hat Elf) to fix them up with a couple of Santa Hats!
Don't they look festive?
The Doctah wore his Santa Hat to the Annual Hollydale General Hospital Clinic and Beaver Taming Salon's Christmas Party!
But things got a little crazy once the Good Doctah turned on the disco music....
and stripped down to his sock!
Yes...sock.
Apparently he only wears one.
Wanna see it?
Ya sure?
OK....
Ho-Ho-Ho!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Wordless Beaver Wednesday
To top off my new holiday party outfit for the
Annual Christmas Party (phew!)....
I chose this snappy little Red-Sheared-Beaver
I chose this snappy little Red-Sheared-Beaver and White-Rabbit Santa Hat!
(No, I did NOT make it and neither did Olga!)
Click on my picture for details about the hat!
*Find the complete list of
Wordless Beaver Wednesday links here: Speedcat 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Wordless Bra Tuesday
Before I became a Nurse, I worked a lot of odd jobs... 
like...Car Show Model!
Here I am modeling the latest in portable headlights
(invented of course, by Doctah Shoal)
at the prestigious Hollydale Holiday Car Show!
Sure, it was fun ~ but I still think being a Nurse is waaaaay funner!
(And my hat is nicer too!)
MORE WORDLESS BRA TUESDAY SUPPORT:
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Fishin' With The Doctah
Doctah Shoal has been working so hard and pulling a lot of night shifts lately...so I suggested we close up shop early today and go try our luck out on Lake Hollydale...home to the elusive Norwatrouteiven.
Of course, Doctah Shoal brought his special Shoal Pole with the
460 degree Fukiamajiggyma Bobber on the end...
But mine's cuter.
Don't ya think?
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Semi-Wordless Beaver Wednesday
My Official Nurse Amanda Beaver Taming Mask will not only help protect sensitive, exposed *body parts
during the beaver taming process...
but it's so dang cute that even the peskiest beaver
will quickly become putty in your hands!
Only $10 per box of 100
Order yours today and I'll throw in a free razor!
1-800-BEAVERMASK
Hey, Doctah Shoal isn't the only one who can invent cool stuff!
*eyes, ears, stuff like that
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Wordless Bra Tuesday
Awwww....feelin' kinda low down and droopy?
You need
You needDoctor Shoal's AtTITude Adjustment Bra!
Only $12.34 per bra
Order today and we'll throw in a complimentary pair of
Doctor Shoal's patented heavy-duty YANK-EM-UP Straps
(for those really bad days)...for free!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Seven Things About ME!
has asked me to reveal SEVEN INTERESTING THINGS about myself!
So here goes:
1. I am a lousy speller. I graduated last in Spelling at the Hollydale School for Wayward Nurses. Big deal. I hardly ever need to spell stuff right anyway.
2. However, I graduated at the head of my class in Hair Removal and Head Transplants....which here at Hollydale General Hospital Clinic and Beaver Taming Salon is waaay more important and useful than Spelling!So there!
3. I was conceived very late one night by accident...but both of my parents say it was pretty much the most fun they ever had with someone they'd never even met before.4. Both of my parents are crazy. Dad has a split personality and is always running around forgetting what his name is and/or where he is. I can't tell you how many times we've had to go pick him up from the golf course wearing nothing but his socks! Mom lives in a fantasy world...and has trouble remembering her name too (weird, huh?) and she also disappears from time to time to places no one's ever heard of before ('cept maybe for dad.)
5. I enjoy playing blog-volleyball, knitting stuff outta left-over beaver fur, eating corn dogs, Paging Doctah Shoal, and N D I C U!
6. I LOVE my nice hat.I cannot imagine life without it.
It is what makes me, me!
7. And I love Doctah Shoal.
(Professionally speaking, of course)
I cannot imagine life without him.
He is what makes me, me!
Oooops! I almost forgot!...I am TAGGING Doctah Shoal to do this MEME too!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
"Necessity is the Doctor of Invention" ~ so says Doctor Shoal
Introducing
Doctor Shoal's Amazing Polypropylanimalalimine Beard Covers
When safety, sanitation, and good looks counts, don't forget about the beard covers! The amazing Doctor Shoal's Polypropylanimalalimine Beard Cover is made from a soft, breathable material and it's full size elastic fit provides complete coverage for even the most gigantic head and/or hairyest chin. It's stylish good looks makes it suitable for extended wear in or out of the OR and ensures worry-free performance during surgery and/or even the messiest meal!
Meets all FDA standards
Sold by the box/100 
And if you order today, we'll throw in a boatload of
And if you order today, we'll throw in a boatload of Doctor Shoal's Disgustingly Thick Bean Soup Gravy Mix for free!
Call 1-800-CUINDICU
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Wordless Beaver Wednesday
Speedykinspoopooheadius Homo Sapiens Castor Canadensis
More Wordless Beaver Wednesday FUN found here:
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Wordless Bra Tuesday
CHEERS!
More Wordless Bra Tuesday Support:
- Funny Bone Inspector, Miss MoneyPenny has posted this Topless Bathing Beauty!
- Doctor Shoal - Un sujetador muy grande y demasiado caliente salsa!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Even As A Little Shaver...
I knew
I was destined for a career in Nursing and Hair Removal!
(And for wearing nice hats)
(And for wearing nice hats) And now...
THANK YOU DOCTAH!
You da best (and handsomest) Doc in da biz!
**************************
Feeling Hairy?
I can help!
Call or stop by the
Hollydale General Hospital Clinic's
Beaver Tamer Salon
and discover a whole new you!
(men, women, or whatever!)
(men, women, or whatever!)
1-800-HGHCBEAVER
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Great News for Beavers and Other Hairy Beasts!
And we specialize in taming not only beavers, but ALL types of hairy critters....
So why be a hairy beast when you can be a smooth operator?
So why be a hairy beast when you can be a smooth operator?At Hollydale General Hospital Clinic's Beaver Tamer Salon,
We have a friendly staff of experienced professionals
and an wide assortment of razors to choose from.
Call and make YOUR appointment today! 1-800-HGHCBEAVER
And then, to further enhance your new look,
how about letting Doctor Shoal have a whack at your face
with one of his new state of the art Plastic Surgery Treatments?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Paging Doctah Shoal! Paging Doctah Shoal! CODE BOOB! CODE BOOB!
Doctah Shoal! We have an EMERGENCY!!!
When your last breast augmentation patient said she was
"hoping to get her old boobs back"...
I think you misunderstood!
Please report to the OR STAT!
I've got her all prepped and awaiting your skillful surgeon's hands.
And I have your trusty 9-iron all sterilized and ready to go!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Just Playing Doctor and Nurse
Hopefully a few of the following actual comments between the handsome
Doctor Shoal and me, Nurse Amanda Hugankiss (with the nice hat)
will clear up any more confusion about WHO WE ARE and
WHAT THE HECK WE ARE DOING?!
Doctah Shoal: You paged, nurse?
Nurse Hugankiss: Oh! I see you worked the night shift Doctah Excitement!
I am Speedy Cat, yes. This blog started from comments at "Speedcat Hollydale"....
Doctor Shoal is my alias blog, and Nurse Hugankiss is really Olga the Traveling Bra"WHAT?!?!?! I thought Doctor Shoal was my brother?...or something...
I mean I thought Speedy was my brother....Or....is that Speedy is Olga's brother? And I am Doctor Shoal's sister? No...that can't be right either!
Just like old times on the chicken ranch ... ehh??
This is a respectable Nurse's Station...also Clinic....and sometimes a Chat Room....I'm thinking about adding a bar and some disco music too!
I request a lighted floor please ...
OHHHH yeah ... that's what I'm talkin about. I see my list is growing biggerOh my yes it is just huge!
Nurse! Nurse! .... where is the creme?? My rash is coming back too.
Oh For Gawdsakes! Another ailment, Doctah?!?! Can't ya just smear some Magical Weena Creme on it & be HAPPY!?!?!
On me bum ... take a good (look) at the darn bugger
WHOA DANG!!!! Professionally speaking...that is very impressive!
.... are you lookin at my salmon???
OMG....I dont WANT to look at it...but I just cant HELP MYSELF!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!
Those are my poped out aeriolies!!
Time is patients!
I assume you will be operating late this evening Doctah?
I will stop only to potti
Oh dear...are you doing your own anestheia again Doctah?!?!
am afraid so ... grab the G7 super potty injection kit and a shoe horn
Will you be needing/wanting a catheder, Doctah???
The nasal cavities will be added later. We all needed to get home and blog about our new attachments.
Hmmmmm, don't you think you'd get better results using your 460 Degree Fukiamathingamajigger...ya know, the one with the flexible shaft?
Golf clubs are surgical instraments in my large hands ...
Plastic surgery is not your specialty....but you are excellent at making stuff up! I appreciate that!
HEY!!!! .... why is me bum smoking???
It's a fricken LAZER....it'll burn right through your pants!!!
woof woof ..... running down the hall
I seem to have lost my head - I saw Nurse Huggans running down the hall with one - headed torwards the X-Ray machine
Head transplants are EASY!!!!!
Alright Amanda .. you come down from there and splain this whole thing to me....
Wait till your colonoscopy results are in.
I eagerly await with bowels retracted!
Duh!...of course I'm a nurse...can't you tell by my hat?The world of doctrin and nusin spans soooo many canyons in the mountainous regions of life ....
Doctah.....you are starting to irritate me like a rash...
Did you know nobody can lick there own wenis??? Try it yourself! I did today though. My elbow skin was so far protruding!!!!!
Are you challenging me to a wenis war?!?
I am twisting the tar out of mine(s) to get ready for the wenis war ....... after my swelling goes down
Takes your mind off your rashy azz though, eh?
Well, the undees are flat cause they are 10 sizes tooo tight! My manberries are crunched into diamonds
My shift is covered... with cream...I mean ointment.
I did yours ... now you do mine!!!
You should go lie down & rest Doctah...you've been through QUITE an ordeal this evening. I will clean up the mess.
I have been very busty today
Dr. Smoooooooooootchiepants.
..... and I now have a smooth lusterous appearance!!!!!!!
I think I may write a song about this!!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
How to Make A Paper Hat! (Sorta Like Mine But Not As Nice)
Step 1: Take one large newspaper sheet that consists of two pages on each side. 
Step 4: Fold corners (on folded side) to middle. This will make a pointed top to paper.
Step 5: Fold one piece of bottom of paper up to the bottom of the pointed fold.
Step 5: Fold one piece of bottom of paper up to the bottom of the pointed fold.
Step 6: Fold bottom again until it overlaps a little of the pointed part. Step 7: Turn hat over.Step 8: Fold sides in about 1 1/2 to 2 inches (it will look like a house). For an adult-sized head, fold in only an inch or so - these folds determine the hat size.
Step 10: Pull opening in hat apart to make a hat shape. There ya go Doctah!
Enjoy your new hat! :)
(I hope you will post a picture of you wearing it!)
(I hope you will post a picture of you wearing it!)
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Please Smoosh Your Boobies
Squished boobies are no fun! 
But then neither is Breast Cancer.
Smooshed Boobies are VERY FUN!
But then neither is Breast Cancer.Annual mammograms, combined with breast self-examination, and regular breast examination by an experienced health care professional, (such as Doctor Shoal,) increases the chance of detecting cancer early...which decreases your risk of dying from the disease by 25 - 30% or more.
Now, on the other hand.... 
Smooshed Boobies are VERY FUN! ...and are a creative way to help promote Breast Cancer Awareness
Please visit Smoosh Your Boobies! for more information...
(oh yes, those are mine)
THANK YOU DOCTAH SHOAL
FOR SUPPORTING SMOOSHED BOOBIES...
Friday, October 24, 2008
No More Scrawny Necks!
(Original advertisement found at Modern Mechanix)
The average human head measures about 22 inches in circumference and weighs about 12 pounds...but Doctor Shoal sports a gigantic 48 incher,
so you just KNOW that thing's gotta weigh a LOT!
As a result carrying around such an enormous head, the Doctah has pretty much written the book on developing one's neck muscles...and it is available for purchase for only 25 cents (in coin)...so get yours today and Doctor Shoal will throw in a complimentary dance lesson absolutely free!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
(Not so) Wordless Bra Tuesday on Monday
October is
National Breast Cancer Awareness Month
National Breast Cancer Awareness Month
And the ever thoughtful Doctah Shoal is providing FREE breast exams
at the downtown Hollydale Food Mart every day from 8am-5pm!
(And at night, by appointment only.)
Bring a sweater, it gets chilly in produce section
Saturday, October 18, 2008
He's Not Just A Golfer Dude Arugula Doctah!
Whoda' thunk that the handsome Doctah Shoal is also a world renowned expert on greens?! And I'm not talking about the kind you find on a golf course either! (Although he sure knows his stuff about those too.)The other day, in between corn dog deliveries and dealing with pesky beavers, the multi-talented Doctah took a little break to fill me in on the virtues of greens such as arugula, escarole, and even endive! Then, much to my surprise, he whipped up a little Shoal Seazer Salad with his Special Yogurt-Gravy dressing. Believe me...it was to die for!
And...he even did the dishes! *sigh*
Think you know your greens?.....Well then, name these!
First person to answer correctly gets an autographed copy of Doctor Shoal's soon to be published cookbook:
GREENS ~
They Aren't Just For Putting Anymore!
(Or, You Say Arugula...I Say Escarole!)
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
How To Tame A Pesky Beaver
Mellom baby mais hunder og norsk bevers,
dette stedet Hollydale General Hospital blir en dyrehage!
Jeg bare håper at dette tames de pesky bevers!
(need translation? click da pic!)
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Will Wonders Never Cease At Hollydale General Hospital?!
For some strange reason, Hollydale General Hospital
is experiencing a great big boom of baby corn dogs!
They are very cute, but kinda messy....
So, Doctah?!?....please send more mustard and napkins!
STAT!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Chicken Breasts Gone BAD....
Poor Doctah Shoal...
Looks like his love for chicken
and his interest in breast implants
got kinda mixed up!
I think he might want to keep his "experimentation"
limited to cremes and ointments...
don't you?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Got Goiter?
Doctor Shoals sure has been having an unfortunate streak of bad luck lately....what with his P.O.A. and Rashy Azz (not to mention the fact that his little foray into the world of Magical Cremes seems to have taken up gobs of his free time)...NOW the poor man is suffering from a golf-ball sized goiter!
This is simply NOT unacceptable because, professionally speaking,
it is really really gross,
PLUS Doctor Shoal's handsome face deserves a handsome neck!
So I took it upon myself to do little research and whaddya know!
I discovered an easy cure!
Ya just need MORE SALT on your chicken wings, Doctah!
click to biggify
Now, who's your favorite nurse?!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Doctor Shoal's CURE FOR UNSIGHTLY AZZ
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(Original advertisement found at Modern Mechanix)
If you suffer from THIS...and all the recommended creams and ointments are just not working for you, then try Dr. Shoal's newest invention,
the Hollydale Pose Breefs!
The special elasticized nylon fabric is impregnated with a steroid cream (nomorecrackbutt) to help soothe your rashy azz and minimize your, er, discomfort.
And if nothing else, at least your unsightly azz will be covered UP!
Personally endorsed and worn by Doctor Shoal!
Order yours today and you'll receive the free brochure
"How Come My Butt Itches?" absolutely FREE!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Shazam! A Man's Cream For A Man's Face!
Following hot on the heels of his amazing
Dr. Shoal proudly presents
SHAZAM! - A Man's Cream For A Man's Face!
(Original advertisement found at Modern Mechanix)
Dr. Shoal's unusual interest in creams and ointments has not only gotten him into some sticky situations, but also led to this remarkable discovery which when applied daily will "invigorate and harden your facial muscles and promote an alert, forceful expression!"
Just like Doctor Shoal!
or your dollar back!
And if you order now - Dr. Shoal will throw in a complimentary
Halloweenie Card - free of charge!
(Thanks Doctah!)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Your Answer to P.O.A!
As if his Shoal Surgical Memory Pump wasn't amazing enough,
now he's gone and found an answer to the dreaded cold weather problem:
It contains special pads filled with an eco-friendly gel that can
be easily heated in a microwave or with a hot water bottle.
It is available in white and features a pendant shaped like a chilli pepper dangling on its front...and it also includes a fashionable furry boa designed to double as a winter scarf.
It is available in white and features a pendant shaped like a chilli pepper dangling on its front...and it also includes a fashionable furry boa designed to double as a winter scarf.
Get yours today at Doctor Shoal's Medical Supply House!
And if you order now, we'll throw in a free Salmon Thermometer!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Morning Bad/Night Good ~ So Says Doctor Shoal
The handsome Doctor Shoal is seen here testing his ERO (Electrical Recording Instrument) on famous Blogger and BSDD (Blogger Sleep Deprivation Disorder) sufferer Drowsey Monkey. Ms. Monkey has not been able to work in the morning ever since she started blogging over one year ago (but woo-woo!...check out that sexy arm!) and Doctor Shoal says he "intends to stay up-late and on-line every single night for as long as it takes to find out why!" Hopefully the good doctor will find for a cure for troublesome brain disorders such as BSDD, OCD (Obsessive Computer Disorder) and the dreaded (and sometimes embarassing) MBPD (Multiple Blogger Personality Disorder) which seems to be on the rise and running rampant in the blogosphere!
For more information and examples of all sorts of brain disorders, be sure to visit one of Doctor Shoal's multiple
Test Results #2
The other day Doctor Shoal told me (and I quote)
"My tummy is like IRON. IRONBELLY !!!!! hoooo Heeeee!!!!" 
Now we know why!
Here are the results of Dr. Shoal's recent belly examination.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Get Back Doctah!!!
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(Original advertisement found at Modern Mechanix)Doctah! Doctah! You made the news!!!
Friday, September 19, 2008
Test Results
Here are the results of "Dr. Shoal's'" recent head examination.
There's nothing there!
I mean, the results were negative.
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