Sunday, November 30, 2008

Seven Things About ME!

In an effort to better understand WHO I AM
my Late Night Shift Assistant, Nurse Awake In Rochester
has asked me to reveal SEVEN INTERESTING THINGS about myself!

So here goes:

1. I am a lousy speller. I graduated last in Spelling at the Hollydale School for Wayward Nurses. Big deal. I hardly ever need to spell stuff right anyway.

2. However, I graduated at the head of my class in Hair Removal and Head Transplants....which here at Hollydale General Hospital Clinic and Beaver Taming Salon is waaay more important and useful than Spelling!
So there!

3. I was conceived very late one night by accident...but both of my parents say it was pretty much the most fun they ever had with someone they'd never even met before.

4. Both of my parents are crazy. Dad has a split personality and is always running around forgetting what his name is and/or where he is. I can't tell you how many times we've had to go pick him up from the golf course wearing nothing but his socks! Mom lives in a fantasy world...and has trouble remembering her name too (weird, huh?) and she also disappears from time to time to places no one's ever heard of before ('cept maybe for dad.)

5. I enjoy playing blog-volleyball, knitting stuff outta left-over beaver fur, eating corn dogs, Paging Doctah Shoal, and goofing around operating
N D I C U!

6. I LOVE my nice hat.
I cannot imagine life without it.
It is what makes me, me!

7. And I love Doctah Shoal.
(Professionally speaking, of course)

I cannot imagine life without him.
He is what makes me, me!

Oooops! I almost forgot!...I am TAGGING Doctah Shoal to do this MEME too!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

"Necessity is the Doctor of Invention" ~ so says Doctor Shoal

Doctor Shoal's Amazing Polypropylanimalalimine Beard Covers

When safety, sanitation, and good looks counts, don't forget about the beard covers! The amazing Doctor Shoal's Polypropylanimalalimine Beard Cover is made from a soft, breathable material and it's full size elastic fit provides complete coverage for even the most gigantic head and/or hairyest chin. It's stylish good looks makes it suitable for extended wear in or out of the OR and ensures worry-free performance during surgery and/or even the messiest meal!

Meets all FDA standards

Sold by the box/100 And if you order today, we'll throw in a boatload of
Doctor Shoal's Disgustingly Thick Bean Soup Gravy Mix for free!

Call 1-800-CUINDICU

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008

Even As A Little Shaver...

I knew
I was destined for a career in Nursing and Hair Removal!(And for wearing nice hats)
And now...
....thanks to Doctor Shoal...
I get to practice my beloved craft day and night!
You da best (and handsomest) Doc in da biz!


Feeling Hairy?
I can help!
Call or stop by the
Hollydale General Hospital Clinic's
Beaver Tamer Salon
and discover a whole new you!
(men, women, or whatever!)

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Great News for Beavers and Other Hairy Beasts!

Hollydale General Hospital Clinic's Beaver Taming Salon
is now OPEN for business!
And we specialize in taming not only beavers,
but ALL types of hairy critters....So why be a hairy beast when you can be a smooth operator?
At Hollydale General Hospital Clinic's Beaver Tamer Salon,
We have a friendly staff of experienced professionals
and an wide assortment of razors to choose from.

Call and make YOUR appointment today! 1-800-HGHCBEAVER

And then, to further enhance your new look,
how about letting Doctor Shoal have a whack at your face
with one of his new state of the art Plastic Surgery Treatments?

Friday, November 21, 2008

Paging Doctah Shoal! Paging Doctah Shoal! CODE BOOB! CODE BOOB!

Doctah Shoal! We have an EMERGENCY!!!
When your last breast augmentation patient said she was
"hoping to get her old boobs back"...
I think you misunderstood!
Please report to the OR STAT!
I've got her all prepped and awaiting your skillful surgeon's hands.
And I have your trusty 9-iron all sterilized and ready to go!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Wordless Beaver Wednesday

Perhaps a Beaver-bra

Click to biggify da Beaver Bra

(Evidence that Olga really IS everywhere!)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Wordless Bra Tuesday

Well, sorta.

(This bra is never at a loss for words!)

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Just Playing Doctor and Nurse

Hopefully a few of the following actual comments between the handsome
Doctor Shoal and me, Nurse Amanda Hugankiss (with the nice hat)
will clear up any more confusion about WHO WE ARE and

Doctah Shoal: You paged, nurse?

Nurse Hugankiss: Oh! I see you worked the night shift Doctah Excitement!

I am Speedy Cat, yes. This blog started from comments at "Speedcat Hollydale"....Doctor Shoal is my alias blog, and Nurse Hugankiss is really Olga the Traveling Bra"

WHAT?!?!?! I thought Doctor Shoal was my brother?...or something...
I mean I thought Speedy was my brother.... that Speedy is Olga's brother? And I am Doctor Shoal's sister? No...that can't be right either!

Just like old times on the chicken ranch ... ehh??

This is a respectable Nurse's Station...also Clinic....and sometimes a Chat Room....I'm thinking about adding a bar and some disco music too!

I request a lighted floor please ...

OHHHH yeah ... that's what I'm talkin about. I see my list is growing bigger

Oh my yes it is just huge!

Nurse! Nurse! .... where is the creme?? My rash is coming back too.

Oh For Gawdsakes! Another ailment, Doctah?!?! Can't ya just smear some Magical Weena Creme on it & be HAPPY!?!?!

On me bum ... take a good (look) at the darn bugger

WHOA DANG!!!! Professionally speaking...that is very impressive!

.... are you lookin at my salmon???

OMG....I dont WANT to look at it...but I just cant HELP MYSELF!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!

Those are my poped out aeriolies!!

Time is patients!

I assume you will be operating late this evening Doctah?

I will stop only to potti

Oh dear...are you doing your own anestheia again Doctah?!?!

am afraid so ... grab the G7 super potty injection kit and a shoe horn

Will you be needing/wanting a catheder, Doctah???

The nasal cavities will be added later. We all needed to get home and blog about our new attachments.

Hmmmmm, don't you think you'd get better results using your 460 Degree Fukiamathingamajigger...ya know, the one with the flexible shaft?

Golf clubs are surgical instraments in my large hands ...

Plastic surgery is not your specialty....but you are excellent at making stuff up! I appreciate that!

HEY!!!! .... why is me bum smoking???

It's a fricken'll burn right through your pants!!!

woof woof ..... running down the hall

I seem to have lost my head - I saw Nurse Huggans running down the hall with one - headed torwards the X-Ray machine

Head transplants are EASY!!!!!

Alright Amanda .. you come down from there and splain this whole thing to me....

Wait till your colonoscopy results are in.

I eagerly await with bowels retracted!

Duh!...of course I'm a nurse...can't you tell by my hat?

The world of doctrin and nusin spans soooo many canyons in the mountainous regions of life .... are starting to irritate me like a rash...

Did you know nobody can lick there own wenis??? Try it yourself! I did today though. My elbow skin was so far protruding!!!!!

Are you challenging me to a wenis war?!?

I am twisting the tar out of mine(s) to get ready for the wenis war ....... after my swelling goes down

Takes your mind off your rashy azz though, eh?

Well, the undees are flat cause they are 10 sizes tooo tight! My manberries are crunched into diamonds

My shift is covered... with cream...I mean ointment.

I did yours ... now you do mine!!!

You should go lie down & rest've been through QUITE an ordeal this evening.
I will clean up the mess.

I have been very busty today

Dr. Smoooooooooootchiepants.

..... and I now have a smooth lusterous appearance!!!!!!!
I think I may write a song about this!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

How to Make A Paper Hat! (Sorta Like Mine But Not As Nice)

Step 1: Take one large newspaper sheet that consists of two pages on each side.

Step 2: Fold in half lengthwise (the way it comes in the newspaper).

Step 3: Fold in half again (bringing the top of the paper to the bottom).

Step 4: Fold corners (on folded side) to middle. This will make a pointed top to paper.

Step 5: Fold one piece of bottom of paper up to the bottom of the pointed fold.

Step 6: Fold bottom again until it overlaps a little of the pointed part.

Step 7: Turn hat over.

Step 8: Fold sides in about 1 1/2 to 2 inches (it will look like a house). For an adult-sized head, fold in only an inch or so - these folds determine the hat size.

Step 9: Fold bottom up twice.

Step 10: Pull opening in hat apart to make a hat shape.

There ya go Doctah!
Enjoy your new hat! :)
(I hope you will post a picture of you wearing it!)

Oh, and thank you to whoever the smartypants is who wrote these directions!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008